(Note: During my sort-of hiatus I realized one BIG reason why I was just about sick of doing this crime-blogging thing: I have been editing myself way too closely. I don’t mean correcting typos, bad grammar, whatever — I mean not saying what I think. Being blunt, if called for. Letting my quirks show, as I often do here. Well, I’m trying to change that. Some long-time readers may not like the result, and I apologize to you/them in advance. But in order to keep crime-blogging, and in order to enjoy it, I have to quit worrying so much about how I express myself. This isn’t me trying to do anything but say what I’m thinking; what’s really going on in my head in response to some of the stories covered in this blog. So there you go. You’ve been warned.) The hedge fund manager dickhead who tried to fake his suicide in order to run off and spend his ill-gotten gains in peace has been arrested in Massachusetts. Samuel Israel III was on the phone with his mommy when he sauntered into a police station in Southwick, Mass and surrendered to the authorities. Israel disappeared on June 9. He was on his way to begin serving a 20 year sentence, and it wasn’t like the guy was headed to some anal-rape fest inside some brutal Fed lockup; he was headed to a Federal Medical Center. Israel has some vicious issues with back pain and has been addicted to painkillers; he was slated to receive another in a series of operations intended to alleviate that pain when he vanished. On the 9th, authorities found Israel’s abandoned car on a bridge over the Hudson River. Someone had written “suicide is painless” in the dust on the hood and some of Israel’s personal effects were inside the vehicle. Israel’s bloated remains didn’t show up down the Hudson anywhere, so investigators realized he must be off somewhere thumbing his nose at them and, for all they knew, watching M*A*S*H marathons at his leisure. Prior to Israel’s arrest on Wednesday, the investigation into his disappearance turned up evidence that his girlfriend, Debra Ryan, had helped him go on the run. Ryan was arrested two weeks ago. She has been charged with aiding and abetting. It probably was no surprise to anyone investigating the case that Israel disappeared. In late August, 2005, feds showed up at the offices of Israel’s company, Bayou Securities LLC, only to find out that he and others they sought were in the wind. In one sense, you couldn’t blame the guy for trying to rabbit back then — there’s no succinct way to explain how $500,000,000 of your investors’ funds just went poof. There was some precedent for Israel’s faked suicide, too. In 2005 the real suicide of Bayou’s CFO, Daniel Marino, was accompanied by a note stating that Israel and his partner had “defrauded all these investors” since at least 1998. Samuel Israel III — likely the classic corporate psychopath — simply cobbled together a story from his own history to try and get away. There is no blood in a story like this, but it has its own kind of horror. And it would be one thing if Israel were the only one of his kind, but as so many stories of massive fraud from the last 15 years or so demonstrate, he is not. At least he’s back where he belongs. Sam Israel has 20 years to stew on that and try and figure out where it all went wrong. But he won’t.